Are You Happy with Your Life ? Answer These Five Questions

Questioning Your Level of Happiness?  Take the Satisfaction With Life Scale Assessment  (SWLS) and Find Answers

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HAPPINESS, SERIOUSLY?

The pursuit of happiness has occupied humans for millennia – whether creating ancient Greek schools of philosophy or inspiring the United States Declaration of Independence.

Until recently, psychological science has had very little to say on happiness, instead preferring to study, understand and relieve illness and distress. However, recently scientist and practitioners have observed that an absence of distress and illness does not lead to greater happiness, or result in increased life satisfaction. So, with this realization, the study of happy people and what makes them happy has become a serious pursuit.

What is Happiness?

 Happiness is described as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile” . Today happiness researchers are increasingly confident in the evidence-based strategies that can increase our happiness.

Psychologists have observed that happier people appear more successful in many areas of life; they are more creative, are judged more favourably by peers and colleagues, have better social relationships, have healthier immune systems and also have longer life expectancy, which makes happiness a serious business.

 ( Pay attention Business Owners)

Also,  employees of happier managers are more productive, more innovative and have better problem solving skills than those of less happy counterparts.

A study to explore this discovered that positive emotions act as an excellent predictor of the motivation and effort required to overcome obstacles to success. People in the study with fewer positive emotional experiences were less likely to persevere and succeed compared to those who had a greater number of positive experiences, when faced with the same obstacles.

 The question is- which comes first: success or happiness?

 This research identified that being happy is crucial to developing many of the desirable characteristics that lead to success. So there it is, HAPPINESS COMES BEFORE SUCCESS

 Is happiness related to nature or nurture?

Studies of twins reveal that

  1. 50% of our capacity for happiness is accounted for by our genetics

  2. 10% is determined by our current circumstances, health, wealth and safety.

  3. 40% of our happiness is a result of our intentional activities and attitude in how we spend our time, attention and energy. Studies of the happiest of people reveal that this cohort differs they cultivate meaning in life and contribute to things bigger than themselves.

So, how happy are you?

Reflecting on our sense of happiness in different key areas of life can be difficult, especially if our life is seemingly all going well.

Sometimes feelings of unhappiness or dissatisfaction just seem to find us and it’s up to us to take the time to explore why this might be.

How you do that will depend on a number of different things, but if you’re struggling to get to grips with it, here is a tool that can help you to get started.

I have attached a link to the Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS) .

What is the SWLS ?

The Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS) was first created by researchers Diener, Emmons, Larsen, and Griffin (1985) and published in an article in the Journal of Personality Assessment.

 The scale was developed as a way to assess an individual’s cognitive judgment of their satisfaction with their life as a whole. The SWLS is a very simple, short questionnaire made up of only 5 statements.

To complete the questionnaire you will be asked to judge how you feel about each of the statements using a 7-scale scoring system, with 1 being ‘strongly disagree’ with the statement and 7 being ‘strongly agree’ with the statement.

As you will see, the SWLS won’t take up a lot of your time to complete! But it can be a really useful instrument in supporting you to reflect on your life, overall satisfaction, and in beginning to think about areas you might need to spend a bit more time exploring.

If you are ready to start your journey of exploring your levelof life satisfaction then click on the button below. Don’t worry, it is simple and quick.  

 

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information and research was obtained from Positive Pychology

Learn the 12 Steps to Overcoming Adversity

Have You Been Derailed From Your  Well Crafted Plans for the Future? Welcome to the human race - But don’t worry, we have tools that may help you get back on track.

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings

— Lau Tzu
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Overcoming ADVERSITY

We see it on a regular basis and understand that unexpected circumstances can derail your best laid out plans. You may have to relocate due to a job transfer,  with a health issue or experience the loss of a loved one. During difficult times, old patterns such as negative thoughts and low self-esteem might resurface and affect your progress. All of these setbacks are part of the journey as human beings. The process of getting back on track can be challenging, especially after a traumatic experience. It requires you to let go of old notions of who you thought you were, demand you to take on new responsibilities or question the meaning of life. Rebuilding after a big loss may bring pain and hardship, but it can also bring strength and wisdom you didn’t know was possible-gifts to carry with you into the next chapter of your life. Adversity can also teach you to be more tender, more flexible and more appreciative of what you might have taken for granted in the past. It can also give you a fresh perspective and help you adjust or reclaim your commitment to your path. Instead of fighting against things you can’t change, try to except that this is a natural state of life - is all ebb and flow. The more you are able to except this truth, the more you will be able to open yourself up to new opportunities for personal growth and transformation.  Here are 12 ways you can start seeing your situation differently;



The 12 Steps of Overcoming Adversity

 

Step One:   Gratitude

Acknowledge what you are grateful for helps you  see that hardship is only part of your life not your whole life.

Step Two:  Release Negativity

 Negative thoughts will come up, acknowledge them and send them on their way

Step Three:  Reach Out

We all need help sometimes. Share your concerns with someone you trust, or seek out a group support program.

Step Four:  Act NOW

 Don’t wait to take action until everything is perfect. Start from where you are and with what you have.

Step Five: Shift Your Perspective

Be open to find the lessons.  There are opportunities for growth in the darkest places.

Step Six: Practice Self-Care

 Nurture ALL aspects of yourself - mind, body, and spirit. Love and be kind to yourself.

Step Seven:  Take a Break

Carve out some time from the busiest of doing - and give yourself quiet time to reflect, feel and review.

Step Eight:  Let Go

Releasing what is out of your control will lift a giant burden off of you.  Some call it “let go and let God”.

Step Nine:  Follow Your Gut  

Trust your instincts.  If something feels wrong, it probably is. Let your intuition guide you.

Step Ten:  Be Flexible

 Adjust your plans when the unexpected takes you on a different path. It may be an opportunity in disguise.

Step Eleven:  Use Intention

Set your mind with the intention that you have the strength and the courage to get through this difficult day with Grace

Step Twelve: Set Limits

Don’t spread yourself too thin by taking on too much.  It’s  OK to say NO in order  to take better care of yourself.

If you would like to receive these 12 steps in a printable PDF  format, fill in the form below and we will send it directly to your email box.

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In addition, if you would like to talk to one of our coaches or counselors about your current challenges or dreams  - simply log onto www.totalwellnessenter.net and sign up for your FREE consult.



As always, we would love your feed back.





Do You Dreeam of A Better Relationship?

Key Steps to Help Make Your Dreams Come True

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Many couples come to me with a belief that if they can just get their mate to change then their marriage problems will be solved. Oh, I know they will rarely come out and say that, they usually couch that belief in phrases like; “I know that I’m part of the problem but he …” or “I’m not perfect but she …”

It seems to be a human trait to make someone or something the “reason” for our not being happy. We immediately look outside ourselves to find the source for our misery. As a result, we may change our circumstance but we rarely achieve our objective.

Am I saying that our environment does not affect us? No. We can greatly benefit by creating healthy environments but our internal beliefs will always be a more powerful influence on us than our external situations. In fact, we will invariably mold our external world to conform to our internal reality. We then point to what we have created as the cause of our problem. This is a bit like digging a deep pit, jumping in, and then cursing the pit.

This attitude is demonstrated by words such as, always, never, can’t won’t and other self-limiting declarations.

“He will always …”

“She will never …”

“We can’t …”

“This won’t …”

When I hear these statements I ask a question (in my most understanding tone of voice), “Are you omniscient?” In which (if they understand the term) they reply

“No?”

So I press on with my questions.

“So you can’t see into the future, right?”

No” they respond in their confusion.

So why are you so willing to shut out the possibility that something good can happen in this case”

As long as we make certain negative outcomes our reality, we will refuse to see anything that may remotely contradict them or any possibility that change can occur. This negative filter will block what does not conform to our belief and so we create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The opposite is also is true. If we tenaciously hold on to a positive belief then we are almost certain to see it come true.

In 1962 President John F. Kennedy said, “we choose to go to the moon”.

It was a fanciful idea at the time. We had neither the technology nor the experience to accomplish such an ambitious goal. Those who were sitting in the audience, who would be tasked with fulfilling this declaration, must have experienced a range of emotions from exhilaration to terror as they assessed the challenge of fulfilling this “dream”. To date, the sum of their accomplishments was to put a single astronaut into an orbit three times around the earth. But the seed was planted, the commander and chief gave an order. Send Americans to land on the moon and successfully return and do this within eight years.

Some say I must see then I will believe, I say believe and only then will you see

“Okay, James thanks for the history lesson, but how does this apply to my life and my relationships?”

This is how.

If you are ever to have something better than you have now, if you are ever going to achieve a life that is beyond what you are currently experiencing you must make that dream a reality in your head and heart before it will become one in your experience.

We are who we believe we are
— C.S.Lewis

When it comes to our own identity and our relationships this means you must hold out hope that it can be better before it ever will become better. Experiencing an intimate, loving, mutually nurturing relationship is absolutely dependent on whether you believe it is possible. If you don’t believe it is possible then you will simply reproduce the same failures and experience the same results.

It starts with creating the dream just like President Kennedy did for those men and women of NASA. You can recruit an army of resources that will begin working for you but first, you must be open to the new possibility that something beautiful and extraordinary can happen.

Self-limiting beliefs are like cancer of the spirit, if left untreated they metastasize and kill. What they kill is our dreams, ambition, hope, love, and faith. They camouflage themselves as being “reality” or “rational thinking” but when you strip away the mask they are lies fueled by fear. We fear loss, failure, being exposed as a phony, or the loss of being able to justifying our own misery. We also fear losing the dysfunctional comfort we derive from not challenging our self-limiting beliefs because it would require painful self-examination and necessitate difficult fundamental life-change. For some, this is too much and so we slip into our tepid pool of dissatisfaction and entertain ourselves with all manner of toys. But for a few, the passion for a higher calling lies deep within their soul and will not be satisfied with a mundane and feckless life. For these, the calling is to the road less traveled, the mountains beyond the furthest peak.

If that is you then obey this internal calling and begin shedding all that would hinder your upward climb. For the air is sweet at the top and few are those who are willing to experience it. Are you?

Here are some beginning steps:

  • Make a list of all the limiting beliefs that you can bring to mind. This may take a while for they are often so much a part of us that we can’t extract them from our souls. Focus on your true dreams, not merely what you want but who you want to be. This is where you will find your most powerful self-limiting beliefs.

  • Begin to create a list of affirmations that will produce “cogitative dissonance”. I have attached a worksheet on how to create Smart Affirmations that will help you.

  • Reach out to friends, relatives and/or counselors to help you. Ask them what they see and be open to their perspective.

  • If you are spiritual then ask God to reveal areas of your life that are hidden to you. This is a verse that has been very meaningful to me over the years.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
— Psalm 139:23,24 NIV

If we can ever be of help to you please don’t hesitate to reach out to us.