Learn the 12 Steps to Overcoming Adversity

Have You Been Derailed From Your  Well Crafted Plans for the Future? Welcome to the human race - But don’t worry, we have tools that may help you get back on track.

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings

— Lau Tzu
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Overcoming ADVERSITY

We see it on a regular basis and understand that unexpected circumstances can derail your best laid out plans. You may have to relocate due to a job transfer,  with a health issue or experience the loss of a loved one. During difficult times, old patterns such as negative thoughts and low self-esteem might resurface and affect your progress. All of these setbacks are part of the journey as human beings. The process of getting back on track can be challenging, especially after a traumatic experience. It requires you to let go of old notions of who you thought you were, demand you to take on new responsibilities or question the meaning of life. Rebuilding after a big loss may bring pain and hardship, but it can also bring strength and wisdom you didn’t know was possible-gifts to carry with you into the next chapter of your life. Adversity can also teach you to be more tender, more flexible and more appreciative of what you might have taken for granted in the past. It can also give you a fresh perspective and help you adjust or reclaim your commitment to your path. Instead of fighting against things you can’t change, try to except that this is a natural state of life - is all ebb and flow. The more you are able to except this truth, the more you will be able to open yourself up to new opportunities for personal growth and transformation.  Here are 12 ways you can start seeing your situation differently;



The 12 Steps of Overcoming Adversity

 

Step One:   Gratitude

Acknowledge what you are grateful for helps you  see that hardship is only part of your life not your whole life.

Step Two:  Release Negativity

 Negative thoughts will come up, acknowledge them and send them on their way

Step Three:  Reach Out

We all need help sometimes. Share your concerns with someone you trust, or seek out a group support program.

Step Four:  Act NOW

 Don’t wait to take action until everything is perfect. Start from where you are and with what you have.

Step Five: Shift Your Perspective

Be open to find the lessons.  There are opportunities for growth in the darkest places.

Step Six: Practice Self-Care

 Nurture ALL aspects of yourself - mind, body, and spirit. Love and be kind to yourself.

Step Seven:  Take a Break

Carve out some time from the busiest of doing - and give yourself quiet time to reflect, feel and review.

Step Eight:  Let Go

Releasing what is out of your control will lift a giant burden off of you.  Some call it “let go and let God”.

Step Nine:  Follow Your Gut  

Trust your instincts.  If something feels wrong, it probably is. Let your intuition guide you.

Step Ten:  Be Flexible

 Adjust your plans when the unexpected takes you on a different path. It may be an opportunity in disguise.

Step Eleven:  Use Intention

Set your mind with the intention that you have the strength and the courage to get through this difficult day with Grace

Step Twelve: Set Limits

Don’t spread yourself too thin by taking on too much.  It’s  OK to say NO in order  to take better care of yourself.

If you would like to receive these 12 steps in a printable PDF  format, fill in the form below and we will send it directly to your email box.

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In addition, if you would like to talk to one of our coaches or counselors about your current challenges or dreams  - simply log onto www.totalwellnessenter.net and sign up for your FREE consult.



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9 Rules - Success and Happiness

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We all seek happiness. Add these 9 rules to your life and watch your dreams become reality.

Rule 1:  Know who you are - Be true to yourself

 There is no one just like you.  Your path to success is uniquely yours.  Let go of your  dated ideas about yourself that you may have adopted from the past, especially if they keep you from evolving into your best self.  Bring meaning to your life through intention and choice.

Rule 2:   Hold a clear vision - Follow your NorthStar

Reflect on what you envision for your life, aligning it with what inspires and feels meaningful to you. The more clarity you have about the kind of life you want and the person you want to be, the easier it will be to stay motivated.  Take consistent steps forward making your vision a reality.

Rule 3: Understand your mind. - Unleash your true self

Much of your perception and beliefs grew out of your earliest experiences and  interactions with your families, culture and the media. Learn to distinguish between the beliefs and ideas that support you and those that limit you. Perception does not always reveal truth.

Rule 4: Take control of your thoughts - Thoughts become matter

Thoughts are among the most powerful creative tool you have. Therefore, it’s crucial to be aware of negative thoughts before they take root and develop into destructive patterns or behavior. Through awareness, conscious choices and determination, you can redirect your life by releasing disempowering self-limiting thoughts and cultivating positive ones.

Rule 5:  Choose what is essential - Life is built on choices

Be aware of how you spend your time and energy, as every decision you make influences the direction of your life. We are all born with gifts and talents as well as challenges and limitations. The way we choose to work with these blessings and trials determines our success.

Rule 6. Be consistent. - Baby steps lead to big results

 Consistency will help build momentum and form new habits for success. Break your bigger goals into smaller tangible ones that are time sensitive.  Turn your smaller goals into monthly, weekly, and daily task to make them all doable.  Checking off daily goals not only gages progress but also increases confidence, resulting in motivation to continue.

Rule 7.  Surround yourself with inspiring influencers - Lift each other up.

You are influenced by the people you choose to spend your time with. Surround yourself with individuals who encourage you to be and do better. They should be people you look up to and trust, people who help drive you forward on your personal path to success.

Rule 8. Live mindfully -The power of the present

 We spend much of our time on auto pilot, missing the depths of our precious life. Living with more mindfulness requires you to observe and participate with awareness and without the filter of judgment. The more present you can be from moment to moment, the deeper the connection you will make with yourself and others, enabling you to live life more skillfully and with greater appreciation and wonder.

Rule 9. Stay the course - Tread the path daily

Success isn’t something you attain - it’s something you live. While working toward your outer goals, it is necessary to be aware of who you become internally  in the process that’s more important. Stay focused on cultivating the inner qualities of success; living with integrity, self-discipline and patience; valuing yourself and others; reserving judgment; practicing compassion and having gratitude towards the gifts already present in your life.

Total Wellness offers a variety of tools to help you take each of the above rules from concept to real life application.  We would love to become a part of your success. Let us knowhow we can help you - simply fill out the form below and we will respond promptly. We answer all inquiries.

Wishing Success,

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How To Boost Your Self Confidence

Training Your Brain To Be More Confident is Possible

We are on a mission to help our clients become more self-aware, more confident, and find balance in their lives.  Although our clients come to us for a variety of reasons,  we find that over 85%  are dealing with challenges within clarity of identity,  self esteem,  and/or  self confidence.  In addition to recently publishing an eBook  (see below free offer) to you  understand and improve self confidence, we also want to share any quality articles or science based findings to help you with your journey.   

Today I read an excellent article written by Bruna Martinuzzi for American Express that  is worth sharing:   

JULY 30, 2018 To succeed in business today, whether as a leader, manager or business owner, knowing how to boost your self-confidence is paramount. A lack of confidence may prevent you from pursuing opportunities or taking risks to help you grow.

Confidence is a strong sense of self. When you have self-confidence, you signal to others that you believe in yourself and your ability to deliver results. As a leader, confidence enables you to lead powerfully. When you approach others with confidence, you increase your chances to engender trust and respect.

If you're looking to improve your self-confidence, it's important to note that this is not something you can achieve overnight. However, there are some actionable steps that you can take.

 Pursue excellence, not perfection.

The definition of perfectionism is "the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness." Pursuing perfection can lower your ability to boost your self-confidence because you would be judging yourself against impossible standards.

By contrast, consider pursuing excellence in everything you do. Aiming for excellence means setting and meeting the highest standards that are reachable. Knowing that what you're doing matches the highest standards boosts your self-confidence. Chasing perfection, on the other hand, lowers your confidence because it creates doubt and anxiety as you try to reach unrealistic standards.

Do you have a tendency toward perfectionism? Consider these three tips:

  • Create a list of the services you provide to internal or external customers.
  • Consider what's required to be outstanding in each of these services.
  • Now create a plan to tackle each of these areas in a way that surpasses ordinary standards.
  •  Invest in your competence.

The adage "fake it till you make it" can lead to feeling like a fake rather than feeling genuinely self-confident.

Instead, you can boost your self-confidence by focusing on increasing your competence in the central areas of your work. Become good at what you do. It's one of the most direct ways to boost your self-confidence.

Moreover, once you reach a certain level of competence, consider raising the bar on yourself. Raising the bar leads to continuous improvement over time.

How else can you invest in your competence?

  • Be honest with yourself about what you don't know. Create a personal competency framework and spend time increasing your knowledge or skill in the areas that need attention.
  • Research your area of expertise to learn new trends and new ways of doing things. The world is dynamic and changing. Falling behind can erode your confidence.
  • Sharpen the saw by attending some online courses which are now available in almost any subject.
  • Read as much as you can—not only in your area of expertise, but for general business knowledge as well. Even if you're very busy, you can subscribe to a book summary service to improve your professional skills and boost your self-confidence are just a few of the services available.

Learn from your own experience.

  • After a significant event, such as delivering a major presentation or doing a sales call with an important client, reflect on the experience.
  • Take a sheet of paper, label it "lessons learned" and capture everything you've gained from the event. For example:
  • What part of your performance went well? That's what you don't want to forget so that you can repeat it the next time.
  • What didn't go as well? What do you need to avoid doing the next time?
  • What do you need to do differently or better to take yourself to the next level?
  • What do you need to abandon altogether?
  • Not taking the time to reflect and capture the lessons may limit your ability to learn from your own experience. Self-confidence is a quality we gain above all from repeated successful experiences.

 Stop the self-harassment.

Self-harassment is when we persistently berate ourselves for any failures, whether real or perceived. Instead of severe self-criticism, consider practicing self-acceptance which can help boost your self-confidence. How can you do this?

  • Start by raising your self-awareness so that you can exercise self-control. Just how many times in a week do you belittle your efforts, blame yourself for events, or speak harshly to yourself? Self-criticism becomes habitual, and we hardly notice it. Catch yourself in the act. Self-awareness precedes self-management.
  • Develop an accurate assessment of who you are. What do you do well? What do you do not so well? Notwithstanding this knowledge, accept yourself unconditionally. To achieve this, set an intention to appreciate yourself for who you are.

  • Remind yourself that you're in control of your self-development. Work on ironing out any rough edges or doing whatever it takes to improve what needs to be improved.

Prepare, prepare, prepare.

Preparation is a key to boosting your self-confidence. When you're prepared, you tend to feel less pressure. Preparation gives you a feeling of being in control. It can give you a head start so that you can think and act your best.

Let's take the example of going to a meeting. Meetings are often events that can put a dent in self-confidence because you're observed and possibly judged by your lack of contribution.

To build your confidence in a meeting:

  • Never go into a meeting unprepared. Be prepared to contribute to the discussion even if you're not scheduled to speak.

  • Try to find out the meeting topics in advance, if possible. What are your ideas about the meeting topics?

  • Prepare a question or two that you might ask. Leaving a meeting with a feeling that you've contributed to the discussion can be a big confidence booster.

Beware of the comparison trap.

When you measure yourself against others, you may rob yourself of the confidence that comes from believing in your abilities. Cultivate an inner trust based on doing the right things for yourself, your staff and your business. If you look to the success of others, do it to learn rather than to measure yourself.

When it comes to comparing ourselves, self-comparison is essential. Are you better today than you were yesterday? Compare your progress with where you were when you started. By focusing on even small improvements that you've made in your skills and abilities from day to day, you may start to see your self-confidence surge.

Learn from the best to help boost your self-confidence.

  • Find out who are the best people in your line of business and study what they do. Think about them, read articles about them and watch their performances. Follow them on social media and research everything about them that you can.
  • What can you learn from these people that can help you reach the same level of success in your field? Once you've determined what they do, consider how you can even surpass them.

Even the most confident people can sometimes find themselves in situations where they doubt themselves. Everyone needs some tools in their toolkit to boost their self-confidence. Self-confidence is key to having the mental edge that helps you success.

Read original article at: American Express / Small Business

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Learn Why Eight-Five Percent of Us Struggle to be Happy

Research Shows that 85% of us are Living with the Effects of  Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Self-Confidence, Resulting in Frustration and Unfulfilled Potential.

What's the big deal about self-confidence?

Confidence is hard to define but easy to recognize. With it, you can take on the world; without it, you live stuck at the starting block of your potential
— Katty Kay and Claire Shipman - "The Confidence Code"

The observation by William James, that most people live in a restricted circle of potential,  holds no less true today than when he made it over a century ago. The reason that so many people never fulfill their potential is not a lack of intelligence, opportunity or resources, but a lack of belief in themselves. Or to put it another way, too little self-confidence.  Without it, you can do little, with it, you can do anything!

 But what is confidence, anyway?

Often people think of confidence as something that the lucky few are born with and the rest are left wishing for, but that’s not true. Confidence is not a fixed attribute; it’s the outcome of the thoughts we think and the actions we take. No more; no less. It is not based on your actual ability to succeed at a task but your belief in your ability to succeed.

For instance:

  • Your belief in your ability to speak in front of an audience
  • Your belief in your ability to learn a new skill set
  • Your belief in your ability to be a leader
  • Your belief in your ability to handle confrontation or manage conflict
  • Your belief in your ability to change career path, or start a new business
  • Your ability to exit an unhealthy relationship
  • Your ability to live a healthy lifestyle

It's been long established that the beliefs we hold – true or otherwise – direct our actions and shape our lives. The good news is that new research into neural plasticity reveals that we can literally rewire our brains in ways that affect our thoughts and behavior at any age. Which means that no matter how timid or doubt-laden you’ve been up to now, building self-confidence is largely what psychologists call a volitional action. Or to use layman language: “By choice.” With consistent effort, and the courage to take a risk, we can gradually expand our confidence, and with it, our capacity to build more of it!

Of course, confidence can wax and wane throughout our lives. It’s boosted when we experience a win or receive praise. It takes a hit when our efforts fall short of the mark, we’re criticized, rejected or simply feel a lack of external recognition. We’re only human after all. It’s therefore vital not to become overly reliant on external affirmation to prop up our self-worth but to take ownership for taking the worthwhile actions needed to sustain it. Which begs the question:

How do you build the confidence needed to overcome your challenges and achieve your goals, particularly when you don’t first succeed?

The following FREE eBook "How to Boost Your Self-Confidence" will help clarify several common roadblocks and help you on your journey to being more confident.

Do you want to keep informed on tips and articles on Self-Inprovement? Sign Up for our newsletter and receive your FREE book "How to Boost Your Self Confidence"  

 
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We are passionate about helping others become the person they were created to be.  Your feedback is always welcomed, simply send us a note at connect@totalwellnesscente.net and we will respond as soon as possible. 

 

Warmest,

The Total Wellness Team