Has Your Mate Quit Working On Your Relationship?

Six Principles to Help You Move the Relationship Forward.

If you’ve been in a serious relationship for any length of time there will be times when you feel alone. But for some, the feelings of disconnection has become more the norm than the exception.

You may have made attempts to connect but they have failed to produce the closeness that you’re hoping for. The results of living in this kind of relationship will produce feelings of ...

  • Worthlessness – Why am I not important enough for you to connect with me?
  • Frustration – I’m tired of being the only one who cares about our relationship
  • Fear – I’m afraid this is going to lead to separation or divorce
  • Hopelessness – I don’t want to live this way and I don’t know what to do

When we get to this place of discouragement we don’t know where to turn, so we reach out to books, counselors or advisors for help. But our partner is comfortable with the status quo and refuses to participate. What can we do? Should we threaten them? Or should we get used to a less than fulfilling relationship? After all, a bad relationship is better than no relationship, right? We conclude, if they don’t want to change the way things are then there is nothing I can do.

Yes, in an ideal world, when both parties commit to making a change, growth comes quicker and easier but you and I know we don’t live in an ideal world. Often, only one person in the relationship is motivated to grow.

But a relationship can grow even if you’re the only one willing to work on it!

It’s not easy, it requires a willingness to look honestly at the way you are currently managing your relationship which really means that you need to be willing to change the way you see you’re your partner and even the way you view yourself. In short, it will take more than just learning a few communication techniques - it requires true transformation. And that is exactly why you should consider taking on this adventure, not simply because you want a better relationship but because you want to be a better you.

Below I have a link to a quick five question quiz to see if you are in the kind of relationship I have described. And if you are, I don’t want to leave you without offering a real chance to see the transformation happen. So take the quiz and then I’ll share a short video about a new six-week program designed just for those who want to grow in their relationship even when their partner is indifferent or resistant.

I sincerely hope you enjoy it … it is truly a labor of love that I hope and pray will help many transform their own lives and their relationships.

Crazy Fighting

Ever been in a fight with your partner and suddenly realized that you didn’t really know what the heck you were fighting about?

That’s because few people are truly aware of why they have such strong feelings about certain things. We think that the argument is about stuff like …

  • She spends too much money!
  • He doesn’t listen to me!
  • She never picks up after herself!
  • He never wants to go out and have fun!

There are all sorts of stories about people getting divorced for seemingly unimportant reasons. Here are two examples from a Reader’s Digest article entitled “12 Crazy-But-True Reasons People Filed for Divorce”

Rashida Lucas divorced her husband, T.P., because, as she said on national television, he was just "too nice." Chief among Lucas's grievances were that T.P. said "I love you" too much and that he was such a good cook that it had caused her to gain weight.

For one Japanese couple who had been married for six years, the movie Frozen was the deal-breaker. After watching it, he made the mistake of asking her, "Did you really think it was that good?" Well, apparently, she did, and the fact that he could even ask that question made her question what sort of person he was. And she couldn't seem to "let it go," moving out of their marital residence soon after.

So why the overreaction? Why do we get so crazy over things that are not “craze-worthy”?

It’s primarily because we are not in tune with our own emotions and instead look outside of ourselves for solutions that only internal examination can heal.  The term for this inward examination is emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

It means that when we experience an emotion we are able to do three things:

  1. We are able to accurately define what we are feeling
  2. We are able to determine the true source of that feeling
  3. We are able to express the feeling in a healthy way

This isn’t easy folks, especially when we avoid self-examination.  But the truth is …

The unexamined life is not worth living
— Socrates

Some of us have been working a lifetime trying to master defining what we are feeling, understanding why we are feeling it and learning how to express those feelings in a way that doesn’t do harm to ourself and others. But until we do, resolving conflicts will always be a mystery because all we can do is make a vain attempt to control our environment and reduce whatever is triggering our emotional wounds. This means we either retreat from anything or anyone who causes us problems or we rigidly force our will upon them. Both strategies do not promote healthy relationships.  

And to a great extent, this is why we fail to resolve our arguments and why we keep having the same battle over and over again. We are really battling ourselves and until we discover that fact we are doomed to repeat it over and over again.

“WE HAVE MET THE ENEMY AND HE IS US.”
— Walt Kelly

Now, I’m not saying that we are the enemy – that attitude would be incredibly counterproductive. But what I am saying neither is your partner the enemy. The real enemy (if you must have one) is the unrecognized and unexamined emotional trigger that is empowering your arguments and making it so difficult to connect with your partner.

And that means we all need to take responsibility for our own emotional reactions and begin to develop the Emotional Intelligence to choose a different way of resolving our conflicts.

If we can ever be of help to you or you have questions about Building Real Relationships don’t hesitate to reach out to us.

This One Habit Will Change Everything!

I've Just Got To Share .....

When I come across something that is life changing I’ve just got to share it.

It is a simple thing but it will change the course of your life.  Don't get me wrong, simple does not mean easy – In fact, this may be one of the hardest things you ever learn to do. It could even take months to perfect … but it’s worth it.  So What is this "thing" I am talking about?

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND

( I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T GOING TO BE EASY)

Take control of your mind every morning and make sure it is nourished with healthy, uplifting, inspiring and empowering food.  Yes, I mean every morning make this your first exercise.

Let me ask you, when you wake up in the morning where do your thoughts go? Do they start working on the agenda of the day? Maybe they rehash yesterday’s failures, or they may run into the future working out possible negative scenarios and worrying about upcoming events.

For many of us who struggle with anxiety or depression, these first morning thoughts set the stage for the rest of our day – and for the rest of our lives for that matter. But even if you aren’t prone to anxiety your first thoughts of the day are critical for giving you the ability to function effectively and efficiently throughout the day.

Bottom line – Don’t let your thoughts default to the problems of the day until they have had a healthy breakfast of empowering and inspirational nutriments.   I once heard someone say. "Put your pen down and stop trying to write the last chapter before the entire story unfolds".

But many of us are habitual negative thinkers, so much so that we don’t think we can change. But you can change – you can rewire your brain - your story,   you can create new neural networks and change the course of your life.

Here are some ways you can do it.

  • When you wake up, before you even get out of bed, grab a 3x5 card on your nightstand that has several morning affirmations and read them 5 times out loud.
  • Upon getting up, grab your hot tea or coffee and sit in a quiet place then read something inspirational, uplifting and empowering. If you’re not a reader listen to an inspirational message.  I personally like to read the Bible but you may want to find something else that inspires you.
  • Then journal your thoughts – make them positive! Speak to yourself like an inspirational coach even if you don’t feel it (ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON’T FEEL IT!)

I know some of you may have a hard time with this.  When we live with negativity for a long time it begins to feel like being positive is wrong. But please hear me on this – You need to stay ruthlessly positive until your negative thoughts begin to feel wrong and your positive thoughts begin to feel right. That’s the change we’re after and it takes time for the mind to process this new way of thinking.

I have 30 daily affirmations to kick start your new morning routine that I would love to send to you. Just send me an email at connect@totalwellnesscenter.net and I’ll send it to you immediately.

You can also check out our book- 10 Days of Loving Yourself

 

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As always we'd love to hear your feed-back.

 

Take Care and Be Kind To Yourself

Women are from Venus and Men …?

Maybe it’s me but the older I get the more I believe that there are bigger differences between men and women than I ever realized. This is especially true in the area of communication. Why is it so hard to talk to each other? We make a simple declarative statement but end up having to repeat it two or three times before it is heard and even then it is often misinterpreted.

Me: These are great burgers

Wife: What?

Me: These are great burgers

Wife: Great what?

Me: Burgers!

Wife: You need another?

Me: No, I’m just saying these are great burgers.

Wife: So you don’t want another

Me: Never mind

The person who wrote Men Are from Mars and Woman Are from Venus got the distances a little off. Women may be from Venus but men are from a planet called Zebaloon which is about 200 billion light years away from Venus.

So why are we not communicating? Are we growing hard of hearing? Or is something else happening?

This is my theory – when you’ve been with a person for a while you begin to take communication shortcuts. This could be because you think you know the other person so well that you can tell what they mean even if they don’t explicitly say it. We sometimes even finish their sentences for them. Occasionally this works but a whole lot of the time it can end up creating misunderstandings that hurt one another.

Another reason we slip into this pattern is we become lazy. It’s a lot of work to maintain a real relationship with another human being – especially one from another planet. But it’s very, very important that we continue to work on it.

Why?  Because at the core of intimate relationships is the experience of being known and understood. When do we stop listening how can we know each other? When relationships fail they fail primarily in this area – we just stop trying and end up making our partner into the one-dimensional image of themselves.

Yes, it’s hard to listen for understanding rather than listen to respond. Yes, it is difficult to put aside our prejudgments and our comfortable stereotypes. Real relationships require it.

So slow down and get your priorities right. Make understanding your highest priority – honestly, there’s nothing more important in the universe at that moment than that person who is standing in front of you. Let go of your judgments and discover the wonder of discovering your partner’s inner life.

This is where real relationships are formed, cultivated and maintained. 

Untying The "Nots"

Having Trouble Moving Forward, Or

  • Overcoming persistent procrastination?
  • Getting  out of the daily funk of feeling like a failure?
  • Breaking out of unfulfilling relationships?

Maybe you have tied yourself up with too many "Nots"

Well, let me ask you a question - Have you ever found yourself talking to yourself using self-limiting words like …

  • I’m not smart
  • I’m not attractive
  • I’m not one of the lucky ones

That’s what I call tying ourselves up in “nots”. These nots are incredibly strong. They keep us bound to a small unfulfilling life that leaves us feeling frustrated, unsuccessful and often hopelessly depressed.

These nots may have been originally tied by someone early in our lives like a parent, teacher or another powerful figure but each time we tell ourselves another “not” we cinch it tighter and tighter until we can’t move.

The most important thing we need to know is that we can also untie the nots in our life. Yes, you and I have the ability to replace the nots with a “what if” or a “why not”. Nots are not unraveled overnight or through reciting some positive affirmation. They must be pulled apart strand by strand until the not becomes a can and the limitless possibilities of your life open up to you like a beautiful story.

I know … it sounds like a fantasy but fairy tales do come true and people are finding freedom from their nots every day, and so can you!

You can start this journey by beginning to hack away at those nots in your life when you catch yourself pulling the rope tighter. Try this:

Stop – Yeah that’s right just stop telling yourself the same crap you’ve told yourself all your life.

Think – What do you want to be true of your life? What do you want to be your new reality?

Replace – Make that the content of the new things you say to yourself.

Okay, I know it’s not that easy but this is a start and everyone has to start somewhere. My life is dedicated to helping you (and me) untie the nots in our lives and to live the life we were meant to live. So If I can help let me know.

Meanwhile, hang out on our new Facebook Page “Get Real - Relationships” for more stuff about living without nots.

Love you!

7 Ways To Generate More Leads in Your Business

Take Control of Your Success

    No matter what business you are in, you need prospects. You need people to market to, in the hopes of turning those leads into customers. Businesses both online and off can benefit from the following 7 you ways to generate more leads to fill your sales funnel, build your email list and hopefully turn into cash-paying customers.

1 – Start a Podcast

It seems everyone has a blog, but few marketers have podcasts. Video and audio podcasts can engage your audience much better than a text-based approach.

2 – Have Twitter Do the Work for You

FollowerWonk.com helps you analyze the behavior of your followers on Twitter. You can also find industry influencers and connect with them, find out what time your followers are the most active on Twitter, and reach the people that are interested in your niche.

3 – Publish Information Frequently and Regularly

Imagine these two scenarios. You have 2 almost identical websites offering similar products and services. It looks like either site can help with your situation. One website publishes an informative blog post, videos and a podcasting episode every week. The second site rarely updates its content. Which one will you do business with?

Adding information to your blog or website frequently, and on a regular schedule, improves your chances of connecting with your audience.

3 – Harness the Power of Information Databases

Data.com is just one of many websites where you can find potential leads for your business. You have access to company contact information and other relevant data which allows you to target exactly the businesses and individuals who are the perfect prospects for what you are offering.

4 – Develop a Presence on LinkedIn

LinkedIn has hundreds of millions of regular users. It is a professional version of social media sites like Facebook or Pinterest, offering several ways to publish material that you can use to drive serious business professionals back to a landing page or lead generation funnel.

5 – Answer Questions on Q & A Sites

People online flock to websites like Quora, Yahoo Answers and WikiAnswers to ask questions about any and all topics. This is a way to prove yourself as an informed leader in your field. The search engines on these sites allow you to target a particular question or topic, and when people see your answers, you can lead them back to your website.

6 – Record Helpful Videos

There are dozens upon dozens of video sharing sites that attract millions of frequent users. YouTube and Vimeo are just two of the many web properties where you can host videos where you solve real problems in the lives of your prospects. Video "connects" with your target market much better than text-based content.

7 – Host a Contest

Contest-hosting sites such as RaffleCopter, WooBox and PageModo help you run a simple contest on social media sites. When people think they have a chance to win a valuable prize, they will sign up to your email list or newsletter. A veteran strategy here is to offer consolation prizes to everyone who does not win a main prize.

 

If you are interested in learning more about how to promote your business please reach out to us at Total Wellness Resource Center and ask for one of our Executive Coaches.  We love helping people find their sweet spot of success.

 

What is Get Real - Relationships?

It is an honest, unvarnished roughhewn look at how to live with each other honestly, openly and with the best hope of giving and receiving love.

This is not easy when we live in a culture that seems hell-bent on setting the relationship bar so high that we come crashing down to earth when we miss it.

So I want to interject some reality into our romantic mass delusion because the truer our expectations conform to what is real the more prepared we will be to live our best relationship possible. So here are some truth bombs …

  • You’re going to argue.
  •  Learn to love the imperfect in your spouse (because they need to do it with you)
  • Your parents didn’t teach you everything you needed to know about healthy relationships.
  • You’re going to feel lonely at times, even in the best relationship.
  • If you want a better partner, start by looking in the mirror.
  • Those who find “true love” had to fight or it.
  •  Relationships are the truest, fastest and most thorough way to build character.
  • It won’t get any better until you decide to become better.
  • Your hang-ups will affect your relationships, so work on them.

Believe me, I’ve got more so stay tuned!

It may sound like I’m a pessimist about relationships – I’m not. I believe that there is intense joy and satisfaction found when we connect on our deepest level with another human being. In fact, I’ve dedicated my life to helping people connect to God, themselves and others. But I’ve seen fantasy thinking sabotage what could be a beautiful life. 

So Get Real - Relationships is where I’m going to put my ramblings.

Get Real - Relationships is an online Facebook community focusing on honest, loving and mutually nurturing relationships and how to get them, build them and sustain them. It’s a place for you to ask questions, ponder new concepts and gain insight from those who are looking for real relationships – just like you.

One more thing – I am one of those who would rather not look at the truth in my own life so I’m going to be brutally honest by saying I am still in process - one step ahead of the hounds with their hot breath breathing down my neck.  I write upon my heart first before I share anything with you.  So it will be messy, just like real relationships.

Let’s get at it – I want to invite you to join the community of those who are willing to roll up their sleeves and make Real Relationship happen in their own lives. If you’re ready, say Jump!

Jump!

How to Live With Our Differences?

Real realtionships happen when two imperfect people find something in the other person that causes them to want to go deeper, become better and experience more than they could alone.  But that’s just the point, we are all conflicted people. We want the good feelings that come from relationships but we don’t want to put in the work it takes to get there. It’s called ambivalence and it is an entirely human condition often characterized by this statement, “opposites attract and then they attack”. Yes, that’s right we are attracted to something in the other person that is not like us. That something attracts us like nothing else and causes to say, “I’ve got to have that!” But when we get it the excitement wears off and the difference that we were so attracted to begins to become an irritation. So instead of celebrating the difference, we want to tamp it down and get them to be more normal – like us.

But real growth happens when we choose to celebrate the unique (and sometimes weird) in the other person and integrate their lives into ours. We then become more than we could possibly be without them. It’s a humbling process where we are continually challenged to love at our deepest level.

I admit this is hard – I’m just as addicted to my “comfort zones” as you are. I hate it when I have to put aside my cherished ways and accept that there may be different way of looking at the world.

But that’s how we grow, pushing past our limiting insecurities to become the best version of ourselves.

Sounds great but can anyone do that?

Try this, instead of focusing on the differences as a problem, focus on the difference in a positive way.

  • Are they not talkative? They're a deep thinker.
  • Do they take a lot of time getting ready? Call them fashion aware.
  • Do they talk too much? Call them socially adept.
  • Do they worry about money? Call them financially responsible.

We really do have a choice of what we focus on and what we focus on will determine the level of happiness we experience in our relationships.

We always welcome your comments and thoughts … let’s grow together!

How Important is Sustanability, Enviroment, and the Long Term Health Of Your Children?

Be A Part of the Solution

Support Your Local Farmers

More than providing fresh produce to our communities, farmers markets play a significant role in preserving farmland, promoting healthier communities, increasing access to nutritious food, improving sustainability, and helping to stimulate local economies.  So as a result - supporting our local farmers we are supporting our neighbors, our community, and our  long-term health.  

Although there are 8,500 Farmer Markets Nation Wide, I found this list of the top 101 in an article written by The Dailey  Meal- Check it out and make your local farmers market  a part of your weekly shopping trip. 

#101 Coppell Farmers Market, Coppell, Texas

#100 South Bend Farmer’s Market, South Bend, Ind.

#99 Third Street South Farmer’s Market Naples, FL

#98 Historic Downtown Hot Springs Farmers Market, Hot Springs, Ark.

#97 Black Hills Farmers Market, Rapid City, S.D.

#96 Sitka Farmers Market, Sitka, Alaska

#95 South Kingston Farmers Market, Kingston, R.I.

#94 Spa City Farmers’ Market, Saratoga Springs, N.Y.

#93 Bainbridge Island Farmers’ Market, Bainbridge Island, Wash.

# 92 Pacific Beach Tuesday Farmers’ Market, Pacific Beach, Calif.

#91 Old Oakland Farmers’ Market, Oakland, Calif.

#90 Cheverly Community Market, Cheverly, Md.

#89 Saturday Farmers' Market, Newport, Ore.

#88 Cape Ann Farmers’ Market, Gloucester, Maine

#87 Oshkosh Saturday Farmers Market, Oshkosh, Wis

#86 Saturday Farmer’s Market, Newport, Ore.

#85 Fort Collins Farmers Market, Fort Collins, Colo.

#84 Melrose Place Farmers Market, West Hollywood, Calif

#83 Jefferson County Farmers Market, Jefferson County, Wash.

#82 Farmers Market Annex, Minneapolis

#81 fresh52 Farmers’ & Artisan Market, Las Vegas

#80 Fulton Farmers Market, Minneapolis

#79 The Greene Street Market, Huntsville, Ala.

#78 Saratoga Farmers’ Market, Saratoga Springs, N.Y.

#77 Delmar Farmers Market, Delmar, N.Y.

#76 Chewelah Farmers Market, Chewelah, Wash.

#75 32nd Street Farmers Market, Baltimore

#74 Boyne City Farmers Market, Boyne, Mich.

#73 Oregon City Farmers Market, Oregon City, Ore.

#72 Prescott Farmers Market, Prescott, Ariz.

#71 Statesboro Main Street Farmers Market, Statesboro, Ga.

#70 Schenectady Greenmarket, Schenectady, N.Y.

#69 Homer Farmers Market, Homer, Alaska

#68 Olympia Farmers Market, Olympia, Wash.

#67 Minneapolis Farmers Market, Minneapolis

#66 Kaka’ako Farmers’ Market, Honolulu

#65 Capital City Public Market, Boise, Idaho

#64 Morgantown Farmers Market, Morgantown, W.Va.

#63 Haleiwa Farmers Market, Waimea, Hawaii

#62 Woodland Park Farmers Market, Woodland Park, Colo

#65 Redmond Saturday Market, Redmond, Wash.

#60 Saint Paul Farmers’ Market, Saint Paul, Minn.

#59 Amherst Farmers’ Market, Amherst, Mass.

#58 Market Square Farmers' Market, Knoxville, Tenn.

#57 Tacoma Farmers Market, Tacoma, Wash.

#56 Portland Farmers’ Market, Portland, Maine

#55 Milwaukie Sunday Farmers Market, Milwaukie, Ore.

#54 Northeast Farmers Market, Minneapolis

#53 Downtown Topeka Farmers Market, Topeka, Kan.

#52 Midtown Farmers Market, Minneapolis

#51 Mississippi Farmers Market, Jackson, Miss.

#50 Lexington Farmers' Market, Lexington, Ky.

#49 Colorado Farm and Art Market, Colorado Springs, Colo.

#48 KCC Farmers’ Market, Honolulu

#47 Capital City Farmers Market, Montpelier, Vt.

#46 Farmers Market of the Ozarks, Springfield, Mo.

#45 Kingfield Farmers Market, Kingfield, Minn.

#44 Ithaca Farmers Market, Ithaca, N.Y.

#43 Alabama Farmers Market, Birmingham, Ala.

#42 Alemany Farmers' Market, San Francisco

#41 Peachtree Road Farmers Market, Atlanta

#40 Fayetteville Farmers’ Market, Fayetteville, Ark.

#39 Atlanta Farmers Market, Atlanta

#38 Boulder County Farmers Market, Boulder

#37 Lancaster Central Market, Lancaster, Pa.

#36 Downtown Farmers’ Market, Des Moines

#35 Cherry St. Farmers Market, Tulsa, Okla.

#34 Hilo Farmers Market, Hilo, Hawaii

#33 The Market at Pepper Place, Birmingham, Ala.

#32 Santa Fe Farmers Market, Santa Fe

#31 SFC Farmers' Market, Austin

#30 Heart of the City, San Francisco

#29 Durham Farmers’ Market, Durham, N.C

#28 Clarksville Downtown Market, Clarksville, Tenn.

#27 Gresham Farmers' Market, Gresham, Ore.

#26 Hope Farmers Market, Austin

#25 Baltimore Farmers’ Market, Baltimore

#24 University District Farmers Market, Seattle

#23 Downtown Farmers Market, Salt Lake City

#22 Farmers’ and Crafts Market of Las Cruces, Las Cruces, N.M.

#21 Dupont Circle FRESHFARM Market, Washington, D.C.

#20 Little Italy Mercato Farmers’ Market, San Diego

#19 City Market, Kansas City, Mo.

#18 Memphis Farmers Market, Memphis

#17 West Side Market, Cleveland

#16 Nashville Farmers’ Market, Nashville

#15 Boston Copley Square Farmers Market, Boston

#14 Hollywood Farmers’ Market, Hollywood, Calif.

#13 Burlington Farmers’ Market, Burlington, Vt

#12 Charleston Farmers Market, Charleston, S.C.

#11 Omaha Farmers Market, Omaha, Neb.

#10 Eastern Market, Washington, D.C.

#9 Ferry Plaza Farmers’ Market, San Francisco

#8 Vancouver Farmers Market, Vancouver, Washington

#7 Davis Farmers Market, Davis, Calif.

#6 Crescent City Farmers Market, New Orleans

#5 Dane Country Farmers’ Market, Madison, Wis.

#4 Green City Market, Chicago

#3 Portland State University Farmers Market, Portland, Ore.

#2 Union Square Greenmarket, New York City

#1 Santa Monica Wednesday Market, Santa Monica, Calif.

 

RELATED LINKS

8 Ways to Make the Most Out of Your Trip to the Farmers Market

Tips on Shopping at the Farmers Market

50 Pickup Lines for the Farmers Market

The Surprising Essential for a Good Marriage

I often sit in front of couples silently praying for wisdom to help them get unstuck from the destructive patterns that are spiraling their relationship down into the black abyss of divorce.  I think if I could just say the right words or use the right interventions then the relationship can be saved. So much pain is produced by their bickering, fighting, insults, accusations and hurtful words. My heart breaks at the pain we humans can inflict upon each other and I desperately want to stop it.

But what I have come to realize is my best insights and carefully crafted observations are useless without one crucial ingredient.

There needs to be a willingness to change.

Sometimes this willingness comes out of frustration – after they have tried everything and failed.

Sometimes this willingness is a huge leap of faith – trusting in the knowledge and skill of the therapist.

And sometimes this willingness comes out of pain – they would just like the fighting to stop and feel peace.

At the core of this willingness is a much-maligned character quality called humility, a willingness to look critically at one's self before attempting to change their partner. When this quality is present miraculous breakthroughs become possible.

But where there is no humility the opposite is true. All the insight, skill, and brilliant counseling will not move couples closer together. At the core of truly intimate relationships is the ability to suspend one’s own prejudice and look compassionately and empathetically at their partner.

This should be no surprise. Even the greatest teacher, healer and lover who ever walked this earth could not perform his miraculous interventions when hearts were hard, eyes were closed and ears stopped up.

For this people’s heart have become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise, they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.
— Matthew 13:15 NIV

So my simple word to you (and me) is to soften our hearts, open our eyes, unstop our ears and let the healing begin. For as surely as God made us he desires to bring healing into our lives and our marriages – if only we will humble ourselves.

Dreaming of Starting Your Own Busines?

Start With A Business Plan.

Sign Up For Your Free Consultation below

What is a Business Plan and Why Do You Need One?

When many of my clients first think of writing a business plan, they envision a long, extensively detailed document with masses of data and financial forecasts. While that may be the requirement for people seeking outside funding, a startup business plan doesn’t have to be that complicated to be effective. Think of it as a blueprint for how you intend to build your dream business, so the plan can be as detailed or simple as you need,  depending on the complexity of your business. By mapping out your goals, action plans, and financials, you will significantly increase your chances for success. 

 Why create a business plan?

The most common use for a business plan is for new and existing businesses to get funding from a bank or loan organization. But regardless of if you intend to raise capitol or only operate your new business from your pocket a business plan is a critical first step. [G3]   I tell my clients to think of it as if they are planning a vacation.  First, you need to have an idea of where you want to go; then you need to determine how much money you will need.  Once you've completed these two critical steps, you should then start deciding what you will need to pack,  along with other pertinent details. Could imagine thinking you wanted to spend a few weeks in Maui on the beach but instead the flight took you to Wyoming, and when you unpacked your suitcase you have Bermuda shorts and a swimsuit to wear in the 30 below temps?

Sounds crazy but no more crazy than launching a business with no plan of how what, or where. 

I personally revise our business plan annually to get organized for the next year. It's a way of taking stock of progress, examining what's working, and laying out goals and plans for the year to come. Almost all very successful business owners will tell you that they create business goals and action plans on a regular basis, sometimes as often as once a month since markets can change quickly.

So  if you are considering starting a new business or finding that your current business is off track, a business plan will help you become more strategic, stronger, and more profitable.

What are the key components of a business plan?

Most business plans comprise of the following parts. If you are creating a proposal for a business loan, you'll need more precise requirements. But for small business planning purposes, these components should be sufficient.

1.  Description of your business model and target market. 

What kind of business are you implementing and who are your target customers?

2.  Unique Value Proposition. 

What do you have to offer that makes you different from everyone else? Why should people buy from you?

3.  Business goals. 

What are your specific, measurable goals that you want to achieve and when?

4.  Marketing Plan. 

What marketing strategies will you put in place and what is their timeline?

5.  Action Plan. 

What are the tasks you need to complete and when?

6.  Financial forecast and budget. 

How much is all of this going to cost on a monthly basis, and what kind of revenue do you expect? How long will it take to break even and make a profit?

 When should you create a business plan?

A business plan is a living, breathing document that will grow and change along with your business. When first starting a new business, your business plan helps determine if you have a sound, financially viable idea. At the beginning of each year, it helps you to plan out your goals and strategies.

However, remember that you need to revisit your business plan regularly. As market conditions shift, laws or regulations change, or you don't see the results you expected, it's time to adjust your plan. Use it as your road map and refer to it often as you plan each week, but don't let it restrict you.

 

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5 Ways To Increase Your Self COnfidence

Achieve the Success Your Desire

We all know them. You know the ones, those self-confident individuals who always seem to be in control. They make snap decisions, appear to be more successful than most people, and possess an inner strength that is almost visible.

You admire their self-assurance and firmness of opinion. Such characteristics arise from inner beliefs in one's ability. If you would like to be more self-assured, practice the following tips which can help you formulate a strong, healthy self-image, full of conviction and self-confidence.

 1 – Understand Your Strengths... and Weaknesses

Self-confident people know what they are good at, and what they are not very good at. Confidence definitely means feeling good about your ability to do certain things. However, it also means understanding those areas where you need to improve. A confident person readily accepts they are not the best at everything.

2 – Look On the Positive Side

Bad things happen all the time. You need to look no further than your daily news broadcast to see that the world has a lot of problems. Self-assured individuals understand this. However, they do not focus on the negative side of life. They can always find the silver lining in every cloud, and a positive spin on a negative event.

3 – Don't Let Failure Stop You

A failure is an event; it is not you are. The most successful, self-assured individuals with true conviction in their beliefs and abilities have failed hundreds and even thousands of times. They are not scared of a failure, and certainly, don't let it keep them from succeeding in the future. Norman Bernard Larsen invented WD-40 on his 40th try. The world would not benefit from this all-in-one miracle household product today if Larson had given up on his 10th, or 20th, or 39th attempt.

4 – Spend Time with Positive People

Confident people surround themselves with other confident people. These people tend to be positive as opposed to negative in nature. Their self-belief is contagious and makes people want to be around them. Negative people want to bring others down to their level, and positive, self-assured individuals spend time with confident believers in self-convictions that push them to be more of who they are.

 5 – Use the Right Body Language

You can "trick" your mind into believing that you are self-confident. This will lead to confident, assured actions and behaviors. Pull your shoulders back. Stand erect. Look people in the eye. Practice good posture. Don't slouch. Shake hands firmly. Smile more often. Speak slowly and clearly. These are all traits of self-confident people, and simply by adopting these postures and confidence to boost tips, you will begin to feel more self-assured.

Self Confidence can be a challenge especially when the world is always telling us we are not enough.  But guess what?  YOUR ARE exactly who you were created to be.  Learn to embrace your uniqueness and love yourself.   Takeyour own personal 10 Day Journey to loving yourself.  Check it out today

We strive to give our readers information that will enhance their lives.  Please let us know if we can cover a topic that is holding you back from  experiencing your true happiness. 

5 Steps Towards A Great Relationship

You Deserve A Healthy Relationship..........So Where did it go wrong?

In our counseling practice,  we often meet with clients who have experienced multiple failed relationships and who seek guidance to try to “fix” the problem. After they share their  painful and frustrating relationship failures We will ask , “So what do all these relationships have in common?” At this point, a blank stare usually replaces their tears and then a spark of awareness comes over them as they say – "me".  Years of research indicates that when we have a healthy relationship with ourselves we will attract and nurture healthy relationships with others. Or as some wise sage once said, “hockey players date hockey players” - meaning we inter into relationships with those who see us as we see ourselves. 

Yes, we are the one constant in all our relationships. Therefore if we want our relationships  to be richer, deeper and more fulfilling we must begin looking at the relationship we have with ourselves.  So the million dollar question - What can we do to build healthier more intimate relationships? 

1.       Know yourself and become self-aware:

 How well do you know you  - your strengths,  your challenges,  your passions, your dreams? What brings you happiness or what fills your eyes with tears? Take a journey of self-discovery because it is only when we truly know who we are deep inside that we are able to share this unique and beautiful self with another and build a truly intimate and dynamic relationship.

2.       Accept yourself:

This does not mean that you think you’re perfect nor need to be. It means that you are comfortable in your own skin (warts and all).  If you are unable to see and accept the beauty within yourself  first then it will be very difficult  to accept the respect and admiration  from another,  fracturing the basis for a healthy relationship. 

3.       Commit to growing:

Relationships are never static they are either growing or dying. This is also true of the relationship you have with yourself. It is fun to be in a relationship with someone who is growing and expanding – emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and / or relationally- is that you? Challenge yourself to explore new wonderments - be more interested and you will become more interesting. 

4.       Become Transparent and Authentic

Being transparent and authentic requires that we place a higher value on our own opinion of ourselves then we do on other’s opinions of us. If we derive our self-esteem from the judgment of others then we will conform ourselves to what we think others will accept and admire and hide behind this façade – never really allowing others to know us. Eventually those closest to us see through the facade and may feel deceived creating trust issues.  So start every relationship being the true you - if someone doesn't like the authentic you they are not the one you want to invest in. 

5.       Love yourself

Loving yourself means that you are committing to becoming the best you can possibly be. It is not narcissistic because when we truly love ourselves it increases our ability to love others. Those who possess a healthy self-love are not at war with themselves and able to look outside themselves with empathy. When we love ourselves we are able to give the best of ourselves to others without fear of being overwhelmed, consumed or oppressed. This is because those with self-love have healthy boundaries and employ good self-care. Therefore they are attracted to, enter into, and maintain good relationships.    

Due to our human nature no one gets through this life without bumps, bruises, and a few scars.   We all, at times, need to step back and reflect on who we really are and who we really desire to become.   We invite you to experience the  "self-reflecting" 10 Day journey of Self Love.  Check out this  thought provoking book and learn how to have your best relationship with YOU. Click Link Below and Start Your Journey  TODAY

 

Do you have a story of how "Self Love"  changed your relationships with others. We would love to hear it..... Please send to connect@totalwellnesscenter.net.  All stories remain confidential.

Stop the Name Calling - It's Killing Your Marriage

One common characteristic of marriages that are floundering is the seemingly unavoidable obsession to classify, characterize and otherwise categorize your spouse. This can come in the form of assigning a character trait or giving your spouse a mental health diagnosis. Does this sound familiar?

  • I think they have ADD they can’t get anything done!
  • My spouse definitely has OCD – they are obsessed with doing certain things only one way
  • They are a narcissist – they always want it their own way!

Or sometimes we put on them a label because they did something once.

  • You didn’t tell me the whole truth so you’re a liar
  • You’re late … you’re always late
  • You forgot … you never remember anything

It is easy for us to fall into this trap. One human characteristic that has proven to be extraordinarily successful is our ability to look at something and to analyze it – this ability helps us to understand the world around us and make sense of how to relate to it. But when it comes to relationships it doesn’t work very well.

The simple reason for this is when we put a label on our spouse we cease to see them as a person and start relating to them by that label. We begin to look at everything they do as a confirmation of our label and create a filter through which we only see our spouse by that particular character flaw.

Nobody likes labels! When we put them on people (especially our spouse) it keeps us from asking sincere questions and connecting on deeper levels. It also triggers a defense mechanism in our partner that causes them to withdraw, attack or even worse put a label on you. They start thinking like this …

  • You’re always critical
  • You never listen
  • You’re putting me in a box
  • You never forgive

So what can be done? Here are four suggestions:

  1.  Resist the labeling: Step back and ask the question; “what is causing this behavior – what do they want or need that they are trying to get through acting like this?”
  2. Look at yourself: Am I doing anything that is creating this behavior? What part am I responsible for?
  3. Consider your standards: Have I set the bar of performance too high? We are all flawed human beings. Relationships need grace, mercy and a heavy dose of forgiveness to grow. If your standards are too high then you will become the relationship police in your home and that relationship is never satisfying.
  4. Talk openly and honestly with your spouse about what is bothering you. Ask them to help you understand why they are the way they are and really listen with your heart to their response. It could be that they are wounded in this area and really need your love and understanding to help them heal. Wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing if we became part of the healing process rather than deepening the wound?

If your relationship is suffering please reach out to us. We offer a free initial consultation. Just fill out this form and we will contact you to schedule your free consultation.

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Natural Remedies for the Top 5 Aliments

Headache, Insomnia, Digestion, and More

Grow Your Own Health

Claim Your  Free Book at End of Article

 Many Years ago, it used to be that the majority of people relied on natural remedies. But then that sort of got pushed aside and modern medicine took over. There’s no doubt that modern medicine has done a lot of good.

But it’s not without its downside. Sometimes people end up over-medicated for health issues that can be treated simply and effectively at home.  A great way to treat some of the common health problems that affect people is through the natural use of plants.

These plants don’t give you the same dangerous side effects that a lot of the medications prescribed today cause. Plus, it’s easier and a lot more cost effective to turn to nature when you need healing.

There are a lot of different plants that you can grow to naturally treat your ailments and some can be applied topically while others can be brewed into teas. You should make sure that you understand how much to use, because, just like medicines from the pharmacy, there are dosing guidelines you will need to follow when using plants to treat ailments.

Headaches

A good natural treatment for a headache is the bark of a willow tree. You can grow a willow tree with a cutting from a mature tree. One of the reasons that this is effective is because it contains salicin, which is comparable to what you’ll find in aspirin. It’s also a good treatment for anything that causes you to feel pain since it works like aspirin does.

One drawback is that people who experience a reaction to aspirin could also potentially have a reaction to willow bark. It should not be used by nursing mothers or given to ill children due to the same side effects that aspirin can cause.

Lavender is a flowering plant that looks beautiful in a garden but it’s also a natural treatment for headaches - even if those headaches are migraines. It’s the oil from the plant that gives relief from the pain. It can be applied directly to the skin or inhaled by boiling the plant and inhaling the oils as they’re released. Lavender is safe to use on the skin without having to dilute it.

Another plant that you can grow to treat headaches is peppermint. This plant is used by crushing the leaves and applying the mixture to the area of the body where you feel the pain. The oils are absorbed through the skin.

If you’ve ever had to deal with cluster headaches, you know how bad these can be. These headaches, which show up and then come back repeatedly over the course of several weeks can be difficult to treat with modern medicine because as soon as you stop the treatment, you can end up with rebound headaches.

One of the best natural remedies that you can plant indoors or outdoors to help with these types of headaches is cayenne pepper. This plant contains capsaicin, which is used to relieve pain. It can be applied directly to the skin. However, you should be extremely careful to keep any of the plant from touching your face. If the plant comes in contact with your eyes, it can cause painful burning.

A side effect of this plant when applied topically is a burning sensation that does go away after a few minutes. If you’re prone to skin allergies, this may not be the right remedy for you to use.  Thyme, when made into a tea can also be used to relieve the pain associated with headaches. Bay leaves are helpful in treating headaches as well.

Insomnia

 Doctors recommend that you get between six to eight hours of sleep every night. This is what’s best for your body. When you have insomnia, it can take a toll on your personal and professional life, plus prolonged bouts of insomnia can cause your health to suffer. Persistent insomnia can lead to sleep deprivation behavior, which can be dangerous.

Fortunately, there are plants that treat this ailment. Many of these plants have a sedative qualites to them, which help relax your mind and body. As a result, you end up with a good night’s sleep.

One of these helpful plants is the lemon balm plant. If you look closely at the leaves, you’ll see how they resemble the leaves if the mint plant. This is because lemon balm is in the same family of plants as the mint. Just like mint It can be taken as a tea.

One flowering plant, that’s actually labeled as a weed is evening primrose - commonly called primrose. It is effective in treating insomnia. The flowers of the plant are colorful and quite beautiful. It’s best to grow this plant with outdoor gardening rather than indoor gardening because it thrives outdoors.

Another plant that’s well-known to aid in helping to treat insomnia is woodruff. This plant has small white flowers and is a perennial. It has a sweet scent and grows best in shade rather than direct sunlight.

Passionflower is another plant that you can grow that’s used in the treatment of insomnia. The plant has medicinal properties that are used to produce calmness and a state of relaxation, which helps you get some sleep.

There are some plants that you can grow that work toward helping you to get a good night’s sleep. These are plants that you can use during your waking hours that won’t induce sleepiness so you’ll still be able to go about your day.

What one of these plants does is it relieves stress and tension which are the leading causes of insomnia other than reasons related to diseases. This plant is rosemary and it can be grown indoor or outside but it can grow to some substantial height. So what you might want to do if you’re into indoor gardening is to start the plant inside and then transfer it outside once it gains height.

Fevers, Colds and Coughs

There can be many different reasons for your body to develop a fever. The same stands true for a cough. Unless a doctor finds that the fever has a direct cause, the only thing you can really do for it is to treat the symptom, which is the fever itself.

For the common cold, there is no cure. All you can do when you catch a cold is to try your best alleviate the symptoms. Many of the over the counter remedies that are offered can sometimes make you feel worse because they make you feel fuzzy-headed or they’ll make you feel dizzy.

Instead of reaching for the mass-produced medication, you can grow what you need to treat a fever, a cough or the common cold. And because this is a natural method, you won’t have any of those annoying side effects that come with taking medication. To treat a fever, the bark of the willow tree is good for this. Just like it treats headaches, it can also reduce your fever.

Again, the reason for this is because the bark of the tree is like aspirin with the properties it contains. But another natural remedy you can use that you can grow yourself is sunflowers. These plants make a great addition to a garden because of their beauty and multi-purpose usefulness.

The seeds from the plant can be eaten and they contain helpful qualities like some of the B vitamins, folate and zinc. Plus, they fight against cancer cells. They’re hardy and easy to grow. It’s the leaves of the plant that can be use to make a tea that lowers fevers. Besides treating the fever, the sunflower is also helpful for reducing ailments such as a cough and a cold. So if you have a fever that’s associated with a cold, then you’re getting two-fold relief with one plant.

Chamomile is another plant that you can grow that’s helpful in reducing fevers. These flowering plants look like daisies but they’re not exactly the same. They’re very hardy and easy to grow. They can be grown indoors but also flourish outside. The plant can be taken in a tea form and is good for not only reducing fever but in the treatment of a cold as well.

When you have a cold, even though it’s not a serious ailment, it can make you feel pretty miserable. Sunflowers can be used to treat this and so can ginseng. This plant is associated with Chinese medicine and has a long history of helping to treat ailments.

These his plants trigger the immune system to battle the ailment. As a result people who use it end up not being down with a cold or cough for the same length of time as those who didn’t use ginseng.

One of the annoying symptoms that always seems to come along with getting a cold is all the congestion that just makes you feel miserable. You don’t have to put up with that if you grow your own medicinal plants. Peppermint is a natural decongestant that contains menthol, which is the ingredient you’ll see in many of the over the counter medications that are used to treat cold symptoms.

A surprising plant that’s effective for a cold is parsley. This plant helps to minimize the symptoms and it stimulates your immune system at the same time. While these plants can be grown outdoors, they are attractive to outdoor animals like rabbits so you’ll want to protect them. Besides treatment for colds, this plant is great for relieving the symptoms associated with UTIs.

There’s nothing as annoying as a cough that comes along with a cold. Even after the cold is long gone the cough will often stubbornly remain in place. That’s because your upper respiratory system has been irritated.  Fennel is a plant that belongs with the celery family and is effective for treating coughs. This plant needs a lot of sunlight. It can be grown indoors but is better suited for outside gardening. Not only will you find this plant useful for treating coughs, but it can be a tasty addition to meals as well.

Anise is a small growing plant that’s perfect for growing indoors. To use this plant to treat a cough, you would use the seeds. After mashing the seeds, you would let them steep as if you were making a tea. Drinking the liquid calms a cough.

Thyme is also successfully used for treating coughing. This is a sturdy plant that grows easily. It’s a perennial plant and can be made into a tea . The reason that this plant works so well is because it calms muscle spasms. When you cough, especially repeatedly, this is caused by smooth muscle spasms. The thyme relaxes those muscles so you don’t feel like you have to cough.

Constipation and Diarrhea

When you are struggling with constipation, it can make you feel absolutely miserable. It can cause bloating, stomach cramps and make you feel sluggish. What happens when you take over the counter medication to treat this ailment is the side effects can often swing you all the way to the other end of the spectrum and you end up with diarrhea.

It might surprise you to know that a very effective plant that you can grow to treat constipation is aloe vera. Although this plant is widely known for its topical uses, the latex of the plant is extremely effective in curing constipation. One plant that’s considered a weed but is effective to treat constipation is the dandelion. The root of the dandelion is a natural laxative that won’t give you those harsh side effects like you get with over the counter medications. 

To get the benefit from this plant, you would need to boil the root. Be careful, it doesn’t take much to be effective. You only need about a teaspoon for every cup of boiling water. Be sure you strain out the root parts before you  pour it into a cup. Mild cases are often resolved with one to two cups of the tea.

To treat diarrhea naturally, you need to make a tea from blackberry leaves. These are very hardy plants that can be grown indoors or out. You can also use the leaves from a raspberry plant if you prefer that over growing blackberries.

Treating Skin Ailments

You want to take care of your skin because it’s what keeps germs from entering your body. There are several types of skin ailments that can be effectively treated with the use of plants. If you burn yourself cooking in the kitchen or through some other task, you’ll want to use an aloe vera plant.

To treat the burn, you break one of the leaves of the plant and use the gel contained within to cover the burn. Lavender is another plant that, like aloe vera, can be effectively used to treat non-serious burns. Besides burns, there are other skin ailments that can cause you discomfort. For example, anyone who’s ever dealt with eczema knows how irritating it can be.

Dandelions can be used to treat this skin condition as well as peppermint. You would use the dandelion as a tea to treat eczema. The oil from a peppermint plant is applied topically to the affected area. The oil reduces the itching as well as the inflammation caused by the condition. The goldenrod flower has also been used to treat eczema.

Along with skin irritants like burns and eczema, you might battle fungal conditions. This is used topically to treat the fungal infection. Chamomile, when used as a bath can be used as an anti-fungal medication. Cloves are also good for treating fungal conditions.  Oregano leaves can also be used to treat fungal infections especially those that infect the toenails or fingernails. This plant can be grown indoor or outdoors also as well as a food spice.

If you are like me and chose to heal naturally "when possible" you will want to check out my Healing Juice Recipe book.  It is my FREE gift to you .  Simply tell me where to send it in the form below ( Name and email address)   and I will send it to your email box immediately. 

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5 Foods That Should Be On Your Grocery List

What Makes Them So Important?

 

“We are what we eat”, or so the saying goes. Different foods help our bodies to grow, to heal, and to keep the immune system running properly. More than that, they stop our bodies from falling apart: the absence of many different nutrients can lead to various physical ailments. It’s really important to eat healthily, so let’s look at five of the best fruits and vegetables to include in your diet.

  1. Broccoli: Green vegetables are widely considered among the healthiest foods we can eat, and broccoli is definitely one of the most nutrient-rich green vegetables. It’s a great source of vitamins C and K, as well as folate, vitamin B and fiber. In addition, it contains potassium, vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5 and B6, protein and calcium.

Broccoli can assist in lowering cholesterol levels which improves cardiovascular health. It supports the body’s detoxification system, aids vitamin D uptake and may also reduce our chance of cancer.

2.   Blueberries: Blueberries have a low glycemic index (GI) which means they have a low impact on our blood sugar levels., so you won’t get a sugar rush from eating blueberries. Eating foods with a low glycemic index is also believed to reduce the risk of developing type-II diabetes as well as coronary heart disease.

Blueberries are also a very rich source of antioxidants, which are thought to help reduce the risk of developing cancer. They are a good source of vitamin K, manganese and vitamin C too, placing them high on the nutrient-density scale.

     3. Spinach: Spinach is one of the best green vegetables for your health. It contains a huge quantity of nutrients, and offers several specific health benefits.  Among the most concentrated nutrients are magnesium, folate, iron, potassium, calcium, vitamin E, protein and zinc.

Spinach may help reduce the risk of developing aggressive prostate cancer. It’s also an anti-inflammatory, meaning it may help reduce our susceptibility to allergies. The vitamin K, magnesium and calcium content of spinach is good for maintaining healthy bones and there are also antioxidants in spinach that help remove harmful free radicals from the body.

     4. Peas: Green peas are another fantastic source of nutrients. They contain a huge range of nutrients in high quantities, including manganese, fiber, vitamin K and C, phosphorus, protein, copper, iron and zinc.

Peas can help to regulate blood sugar levels thanks to their fiber and protein content. Fiber and protein slow down the pace of digestion, which also means that carbohydrates are digested more slowly too. Peas are also known to reduce the chance of developing cardiovascular disease and to help protect against stomach cancer.

     5. Apples: Apples are a fantastic source of fiber which helps promote a healthy digestive system. This also aids in the regulation of blood sugar levels. They are also a great source of vitamin C. Although apples aren’t as nutrient-rich as some other fruits and vegetables, they are thought to have both anti-cancer and anti-asthma properties. In addition, they’re good for cardiovascular health.

You have many options to what you eat.  Make certain you are eating a balanced menu that feeds your body the nutrients you need to have a long and healthy life.  Check this recipe out for a delicious and healthy meal choice. .

Broccoli Spinach Salad

Total 10 mins

 Yield 2 servings

This tasty Blueberry Broccoli Spinach Salad with Poppyseed Ranch is the perfect blend of savory sweetness!

Ingredients

FOR THE SALAD:

  • 4 oz fresh baby spinach
  • 1/2 cup chopped broccoli
  • 1/2 a ripe avocado
  • 1/4 cup blueberries
  • 1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
  • 2-4 TBSP dried cranberries
  • 2-4 TBSP roasted sunflower seeds (I used unsalted)
  • black pepper, to taste (optional)

POPPY SEED RANCH DRESSING:

  • 1/2 cup of plain greek yogurt or sour cream
  • 1/4 cup of buttermilk (extra if desired)
  • 1/4 cup good quality mayonnaise (homemade or store bought)
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 1/2 tsp lemon juice or white vinegar
  • 1 tsp poppy seeds
  • 1/2 tsp dried parsley
  • 1/2 tsp dried dill
  • 1/4 tsp onion powder
  • 1/4 tsp paprika
  • 1/8-1/4 tsp garlic powder, to taste
  • 1/8 tsp sea salt
  • 1/8 tsp black pepper

Instructions ;

  1. Start with the dressing (skip if using premade)
  2. Ranch dressing always tastes it’s absolute best made ahead of time. Whisk and chill for a few hours before serving or make things simple by tossing it together the night before.
  3. Peel 1 clove of garlic, then smash and mince it into a paste.
  4. Season with salt.
  5. Combine salted garlic paste with remaining dressing ingredients and whisk well.
  6. Pop in the fridge to chill for a few hours for flavors to set.
  7. Wash + dry spinach.
  8. Combine with broccoli, blueberries, dried cranberries, avocado, feta cheese, and sunflower seeds.
  9. Toss with dressing and serve.
  10. Season with black pepper, to taste.

Notes

This recipe yields one extra-large personal salad or 2 smaller side salads.

This dressing works with both fresh and dried herbs, so absolutely use what fresh herbs you have on hand. I’ll include measurements for dried, which are a little stronger in flavor, so when using fresh you’ll simply increase the amount to taste. Enjoy!

 

 

        

Is Kale the True Superfood?

Or Is There More To The Story?

I am thrilled to learn from the latest research that there are 10 Superfoods Better for you Than Kale. Yippee - since I failed to ever become its fan.  And, yes, this made me an outsider because in the food world, the biggest celebrity of all has been kale.  In fact, I heard Kale referred to as the Lady Gaga of leafy greens.  Don’t get me wrong ...... it has its benefits but the brilliant marketing behind this leafy green has elevated it beyond its star quality - Here’s a report of the 10 leafy green cousins that researchers say pack a greater nutritional wallop:

Whole Story

Whole Story

(As reported by Eat This, Not That) 

Collard Greens:

A staple vegetable of Southern U.S. cuisine, collard greens also boast incredible cholesterol-lowering benefits — especially when steamed. A recent study published in the journal Nutrition Research compared the effectiveness of the prescription drug Cholestyramine to steamed collards. Incredibly, the collards improved the body’s cholesterol-blocking process by 13 percent more than the drug! Of course, that won’t do you any good if you insist on serving them with ham hocks….

Romaine Lettuce: 

Even more so than its cousin kale, the humble Romaine lettuce packs high levels of folic acid, a water-soluble form of Vitamin B that’s proven to boost male fertility. A study published in the journal Fertility and Sterility found supplemental folic acid to significantly increase sperm counts. Get the man in your life to start craving Caesar salads, and you may soon have a baby Julius on board. (Ladies, this green packs health benefits for you, too! Folate also plays a role in battling depression, so change out your kale for Romaine.

Parsley:

 Yes, that leafy garnish that sits on the side of your plate—the one they throw away after you eat the rest of your meal—is a quiet superfood, so packed with nutrients that even that one sprig can go a long way toward meeting your daily requirement for vitamin K. Moreover, research suggests the summer-y aroma and flavor of chopped parsley may help control your appetite. A study in the journal Flavourfound participants ate significantly less of a dish that smelled strongly of spice than a mildly scented version of the same food. Adding herbs, like parsley, creates the sensory illusion that you’re indulging in something rich—without adding any fat or calories to your plate.

Leaf lettuce:

The nutritional Clark Kent of the salad bar, this common and unsuspecting leafy green is ready to take its place among the superfoods for weight loss. Two generous cups of lettuce provides 100 percent of your daily vitamin K requirement for strong, healthy bones. A report from the Nurses’ Health Study suggests that women who eat a serving of lettuce every day cut the risk of hip fracture by 30 percent than when compared with eating just one serving a week.

Chicory:   

Chicory is a family of bitter greens, but its most well-known member is radicchio, the small red or purple leaf that comes in a head about the size of a softball. It’s one of the best dietary sources of polyphenols—powerful micronutrients that serve a role in preventing disease. A study in the Journal of Nutritionfound that people who consume 650 mg a day of polyphenols have a 30 percent chance at living longer than those who consume less than that. A cup of chicory leaves clocks in at about 235 mg , so consider adding a little leafy red into your leafy greens. 

Spinach:

According to the United States Department of Agriculture, a 180 gram serving of boiled spinach provides 6.43 mg of iron, the muscle mineral—that’s more than a 6 oz hamburger patty! Recent research also suggest compounds in the leaf membranes called thylakoids may serve as a powerful appetite suppressant. A recently published long-term study at Lund University in Sweden found that having a drink containing thylakoids before breakfast could significantly reduce cravings and promote weight loss. On average, the women who took the extract lost 5.5 pounds more than the placebo group over the course of three months.

 

Beet greens:

Yes, the stuff they cut off and throw in the garbage before charging you an arm and a leg for “beet salad.” A scant cup of the bitter green serves up nearly 5 grams of fiber—that’s more than you’ll find in a bowl of Quaker oats! Researchers at the University of Leeds found that risk of cardiovascular disease was significantly lower for every 7 grams of fiber consumed. Try them in stir frys and eat to your heart’s content!

 

Chard:

Sounds like “burnt.” It’s not as fun a name to drop as, say, “broccolini,” but it might be your best defense against diabetes. Recent research has shown that these powerhouse leaves contain at least 13 different polyphenol antioxidants, including anthocyanins–anti-inflammatory compounds that could offer protection from type 2 diabetes. Researchers from the University of East Anglia analyzed questionnaires and blood samples of about 2,000 people and found that those with the highest dietary intakes of anthocyanins had lower insulin resistance and better blood glucose regulation.

 

Chinese Cabbage:

Taking the silver medal in the powerfood Olympics is Chinese cabbage, also called Napa or celery cabbage. Rich sources of highly-available calcium and iron, cruciferous vegetables like the cabbage have the powerful ability to “turn off” inflammation markers thought to promote heart disease. In a study of more than 1,000 Chinese women, published in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, those who ate the most cruciferous vegetables (about 1.5 cups per day) had 13 percent less inflammation than those who ate the least.

Super Hero Watercress:

The top dog, the unrivaled champion, the chairman of the cutting board, watercress may also be the closest thing yet to a true anti-aging food. Gram for gram this mild-tasting and flowery-looking green contains four times more beta carotene than an apple, and a whopping 238 percent of your daily recommended dose of vitamin K per 100 grams—two compounds that keep skin dewy and youthful. The beauty food is also the richest dietary source of PEITC (phenylethyl isothiocyanate), which research suggests can fight cancer. Results from an eight-week trial published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition suggest daily supplementation of 85 grams of raw watercress (that’s about two cups) could reduce DMA damage linked to cancer by 17 percent. Exposure to heat may inactivate PEITC, so it’s best to enjoy watercress raw in salads, cold-pressed juices, and sandwiches.

This report is a great example how "Marketing" can skew the facts to benefit one's own interest.  Keep on track of the facts and sign up for our newsletter below. 

Summer is Here

Lose 5, 10, 15 Pounds .....Fast

Learn the secret of losing those last few pounds or simply how to kick start your journey to a healthier you.

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Have You Taken Your Beta Endorphines Today?

Exercise... Today's New  Prozac

 

"I love my morning endorphins with a dose of a healthy breakfast"

"I love my morning endorphins with a dose of a healthy breakfast"

Exercise, in general, can have many emotional benefits, but a good dose of cardio has the most powerful impact on your mental state. If you are a cardio enthusiast , you know the feeling – before your get your heart rate up you may have felt tired or stressed about certain life events, then after you are finished you feel fantastic!

Our minds are very powerful. Our minds control our thoughts, attitude, and actions, which can often influence our physical health. Of course, any form of cardio is great exercise for losing weight and building your cardiovascular health, but it also has benefits to the inner essence of our being. Here's how:

1) Decreases Stress

Stress is a mental state of mind. No matter how you may hate to admit it or believe it, you do cause your own stress. When you allow the situations in life to affect you internally, you have given power to that particular situation by feeling stress.

Cardio allows you to focus more on your breathing and your body movement. The deep breathing soothes the feelings of fear and/or anxiety that are associated with stress. Exercise is like a release button to the stress that accumulates in your body.

2) Increases Self-Esteem

When you are exercising on a regular basis, your self-esteem slowly starts to increase. You start to feel good about yourself, whether it is the weight loss, weight maintenance, or the health benefits that you receive.

As you have the energy and endurance to exercise, it gives you a sense of needing to take care of your body, so you are less likely to eat foods that are not good for you, or partake in any unhealthy behavior. You see the benefits that exercise gives you, and you have a sense of pride and respect for your body.

3) Increases Feeling of Freedom

Exercising is a great way to feel free – free from all the challenges and obstacles that life sometimes delivers. When you are focused on your exercise, there is a sense of freedom. You can go as hard or as light as you want, and no one and no thoughts can hinder this freedom.

You automatically feel a sense of release from the demanding career, , nagging responsibilities, and looming deadlines.  Even if for only a moment, you are free and in your own place of silence and calmness that is soothing to both your body and mind. Sometimes it takes physical activity to really quiet our minds – something that is not easy to achieve in modern society.

4) Decreases Depression

When you are moving your body and getting active, your brain automatically releases beta endorphins. Beta endorphins are neurotransmitters in the brain that are affected during depression. In depression, the neurotransmitters are not firing properly, and a feeling of overall wellness is decreased.

This is the reason why many feel an “exercise’ high” after a great workout. It is a complete feeling of peacefulness and happiness, as if all the problems of the day have actually disappeared.

So get started and get healthy......but first, check out this video from WebMD and find your target heart rate so you can get the most out o your exercise.

http://www.m.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/prevention-15/heart-healthy/video-target-heart-rate-explained


If you have a great story on how exercise changed your life please submit your story  in  the commentbox below or email us at connect#totalwellnesscenter.net  Your feedback is very important to us.
 

 

5 Healthy Breakfast Tips

That Will Help You Lose Weight

breakfast.jpg

Start Your Day Out Right  

If you want to lose weight, or you just want to get healthy, then breakfast should be number one on your list. Even if you're exercising every day, you could be sabotaging your plans by skipping breakfast! And, if you do eat breakfast every day, you may be choosing the wrong foods. Here are 5 healthy breakfast tips to make that first meal of the day a healthy one.

  • Never Skip Breakfast: This is number one on the list of healthy breakfast tips for a very good reason! You may think you're shaving calories off your day by missing breakfast, but it just leaves you more likely to snack on unhealthy foods throughout the morning. Above this, breakfast kickstarts your metabolism, making your body work harder to burn off calories from the meals you eat through the rest of the day. Start with a combination of lean protein and simple carbs with a serving of fruit and you will be set until Lunch time.

 

  • Avoid Sugar: Many of us wrongly assume that all breakfast cereals are healthy. This is far from the truth: many of them are overloaded with sugar. This can lead to weight gain and energy spikes that will leave you feeling sleepy by lunch time. A simple trick to alleviating sweet attacks is to eat ½ an avocado with light salt…..this will leave you satisfied and the healthy fats are much better for you in the long run.

 

  • Don't Drink Too Much Juice: Although fruit juice is good for you, this doesn't mean that it's free from calories. The sugar in fruit juice can cause an energy spike, so stick to a small glass and drink water to hydrate you for the day. Drinking more water has the added benefit of helping you to feel fuller and avoid snacking.  If you choose Juice make certain it is fresh squeezed juice with added greens.  See my Juicing guide to get amazing healthy recipes.

 

  • Start your day like you are starting a race.  Think of breakfast as a kick-start fuel for your day, and start with healthy foods that'll give your body the nutrients you need to sustain energy.  This means avoiding processed or junk food that’ll leave you feeling sluggish at work. Processed foods are most foods that come from a box or can…….. Go Fresh

 

  •  Include A Few Superfoods: Superfoods are ingredients known to greatly decrease your risk of developing a range of diseases. Thankfully, many of these are perfect for breakfast. Here are a few top ingredients to get you going: oats, yogurt, veggies ( love Breakfast salads), berries, nuts and seeds. Even if you only have a handful of these ingredients, it's a good way to make sure you get something healthy into every day.

 

If all these healthy breakfast tips seem time consuming for your busy schedule, remember to plan ahead. If necessary, prepare your breakfast the night before to make it as easy as possible for you to stick to a healthy diet. Watch for my up and coming plan and prepare blog. 

 I am always looking for new healthy breakfast recipes so if you have one you’d like to share with our readers please submit it to connect@totalwellnesscenter.net and write Recipe in the subject line.  

 

As always , we love to hear from you so feel free to write us in the comment box below.  Have a healthy day.